Only Time will tell I guess...

I know I haven't blog in awhile alot of things are going on. The boys stay busy with school, karate, and football. The past couple of weeks I have been going to the gym with my sister and I love the quality time with her. This week hasn't been to good for me. Every morning I would get ready and go to the gym workout and do a class each day, but this week I haven't felt like do anything. I have been missing Jason like crazy. Yesterday was 9months since his death, as time goes by it feels like its getting worse. I miss Jason more and more everyday. I miss his smile and laughter. He was the only one who could make me so mad but than turn around and make me laugh. He had so much life and it was cut so short. Its just so lonely in this quiet house, I just wish that he would come running in the house and say tricked you if only wishes came true. I have got to realize that he's not coming back and I will see him again but its just hard waiting on that day to come. I know I am being Debbie Downer but its just how I have been feeling lately. I know I should get out of the house and go about my day with the gym but I just don't feel like it right now. Its lonely in this house but right now I think I should be by myself right now to think things through. Only Time will tell I guess......

Freaky Friday: Lindsey Cullen

Check out Hawaii Five-0 Marching Band Mania! College bands are competing for $25,000.

Check out Hawaii Five-0 Marching Band Mania! College bands are competing for $25,000.: "Check out Hawaii Five-0 Marching Band Mania! College bands are competing for $25,000."

Carson making brayden laugh...precious

Wordless Wednesday: Say What?

Blog Award: Me? What?

Thanks Becky for the Blog Award...

Rules for accepting the award:

1. Accept the award. Post it on your blog with the name of the person who has granted the award and his or her blog link.

2. Pay it forward to 15 other bloggers that you have newly discovered.

3. Contact those blog owners and let them know they've been.

1.It Ain't EZ being Cheezzzy

2.Swimming with the tadpoles

3.Watch Heather Shrink

4.The Ziell's

5.Smell what the Tollesons are Cooking

6.Living with Donny Marie

7.MTM's Mommy

8.Drinking From my saucer

I only have 8 blogs. Sorry I dont have enough blog friends...

Freaky Friday: Camper Unknown

Do you see the little girl in the picture beside the couple? yeah I know its freaky. Mama sent this to me a lady she works with is friends with the woman in the picture. They were using a digital camera, after they took the picture they looked at it and saw this. As soon as they saw this they packed up and left. Smart idea. Some say its fake but they did take it to Walgreen's to get the negative and see if they were seeing things and the little girl was still there.

Wordless Wednesday: Football Season is Here

I'M A FARMER....YAW!!

I'm a Farmer,

I'm a Farmer,

I'm a Farmer from Dorman High...

I would rather be a Farmer than FRAT

from Spartan High.....

Yep its that time of the year the rival between Dorman and Spartan High....

Its Back 2 School kiddos....

Well summer is over kids, so get your book bag on and head on to school. The went to school this morning, no more sleeping in or late nights. I got the boys up and they were putting on their school clothes and then the light just came on, in the living room all the lights on the fan are blown out and the same one keeps coming on and off well it came on this morning. I know its Jason, it has to be because when he passed that same light blew out that night and every now and then that same one cuts on. The boys were so excited to the light on and I told them that daddy is watching them and wouldn't miss their first day of school. We headed to school and I walked them in. Carson was so excited and he looked so cute. J.C. was like I don't really care and when I was walking him to his classroom in the main hall he wouldn't hold my hand, but as soon as we turned into the small hallway he grabbed my hand. Precious. My little men are growing up way too fast for me.

Miley Cyrus - The Climb - Official Music Video (HQ)

This song always gets me. I can remember it coming on the radio and Jason would always say this song is MY life. Everytime I hear I think of Jason and me in the car, we always play the song game. Precious Memories..Miss you so much Jason.

PumP It UP

Friday Night, we had our Back 2 School Bash for the children at church. Let me tell I'm so out of shape and all I did we was slide and jump on the jumping thang. I really wish that I had the energy as the kids cause they were everywhere and didn't slow down the whole time we were there. It was Brayden's first time every being there and he LOVED IT!!! He was everywhere jumping and falling, he was precious. Enjoy the pics, they're a little blurry.

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Such a Bad Mommy

As I was looking through my past blogs, making sure I was up to date and I realize I didn't blog about my little man J.C.'s graduation. He graduated kindergarten. I'm so proud of my little booger. He's growing up so fast and I still cant believe he will be 7 on his birthday in Oct. that just blows my mind. So enjoy the pictures and I know I'm behind trying to catch up.

It's J.A.M. time

I'm so excited for the church year to start. I'm helping with the children ministry and I cant wait to get started. Becky and myself has been racking our brain for a name for the ministry and we let the kids pick out the name and its J.A.M. Jesus and Me kid club. This is the first time that I'm involved with something in the church. Our children ministry is growing and I thank the one and only God for blessing our church with kids. Most of the older churches are full with older people with that is fine but the kids are the future. We recently raised money up for a playground and couple of the men from church built it. This past Sunday we had a dedication service and open it up for the children. I don't know about the other kids but J.C. and Carson are so excited. Wednesday night when we pulled up to church and saw the playground J.c. told me that he loved the playground.

Jesus in My ♥

Today was a great day, My two lil' men and Gracie got baptize this morning. I know you ain't suppose to be proud but I was one PROUD MAMA. The best decision the boys have made and will ever make was accepting Jesus into their heart. I will continue to pray for the boys as they grow up in this awful evil world we live in. I pray that they will live for Jesus and not for this world. Please pray for me so I can be the best role model for them and when they look up to me that God will shine through me. As Brayden grows up I want J.C. and Carson to be his role models and live for Jesus like his brothers. Some say that 5 & 6 yrs old don't understand all this but if you was to sit and talk with J.C., Gracie, and Carson they know whats going on and they want to go to Heaven when they die so they can see Jesus and their daddy.

J.C.

Carson

Letter from Jason...

Letter from Jason from Heaven

January 20 2010

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you."

It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on.
I need you here badly; you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years
because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
but together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too...
that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain,
then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....that my life has been worthwhile,
knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low,
just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go.... from that body to be free,
remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me

Thanks Daddy for sending this to me. I know its lonely here at the house but I know that I have a special angel looking over me and the boys. Cant wait to see Jason again.

Memories through Time

We were together for many years
We became as one
It was like I had your blood running through my veins
We could read each others thoughts
Finish each others sentences
Without saying a word
There is so much I'd like to change
But I can't turn back the hands of time
Your memory will always be apart of me and my heart
I still talk to you
And wonder if you hear
Sometimes I can feel you near
Even in my dreams
My heart can't say good-bye
For it's afraid your memory will die
A part of my heart is with you
And it's yours to keep
Now that you are gone
I'm left to stand alone

BY: PATRICIA CONNER LOVELACE

I have never wanted so bad for Jesus to come back and take his children. I'm ready for the boys and myself to reunite with Jason once again. I use to love life but since Jason was taking away from me I have no desire for evil world. My focus are my kids. I love them dearly and without them I would crumble. I have no interest in things I did before. Since Jason was taking away I have laughter in my life. Its like I want to think and talk about him but he hurts so bad to do. I don't want to go to his grave, and I know I should take the boys up there but I just cant go up there. I don't want to think of Jason in a grave because hes not there hes in heaven and I want to be with him. So I will go on this in world without Jason and take care of the boys, lead them to Jesus so we can be a family up in heaven once again.

PRAISE GOD!!!!

I'm such a Proud Mama, I know you are not suppose to be Proud but I'm so proud of my J.C. He accepted Jesus Christ in his heart tonight at Vacation Bible School at Rainbow Baptist Church. Hearing this news, it makes me want to be a better christian. I'm not perfect and make mistakes but I know that I have Jesus to forgive me. I have been talking to him about Jesus but he was ready tonight and Jesus came in his heart. During the bible study they had a salvation talk with the kids and the spirit was filled in that room cause 13 kids got saved. I wasnt in there when he got saved but as soon as he told me I was so excited for him. I know his daddy is looking down with a big smile on his face knowing that they will see each other again. I just hope and pray that Carson sees when J.C. gets baptize and sees his life changed that he will start asking question and ask Jesus in his heart. I also got some more good news, my niece Gracie also accepted Jesus. PRAISE GOD!!! I know God is still in the working business.

Wordless Wednesday: THE PRETTIEST COWGIRLS YOU'LL EVER SEE..LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEC-BEC!!!!!

My Best Friend Becky will be 25 June 16. I know its early but Happy Birthday!!! Becky and I have been friends all our lives. We went to children church together at Canaan Baptist Church and I have pictures of us as young girls. She's very special person to me. She has always been there for me and my kids. I'm so thankful that we grew up together being friends and still to this day we are BEST FRIENDS.

I love her and her precious family. I have so many memories of us through the years and we continue to make memories. Our kids are so close to each other and I just hope that their friendship last years and years just like us. Saturday Boy had a surprise birthday party for her (that was so sweet) and I found out the night before. We all hid in the kitchen and when she opened the door SURPRISE. Friends and family were at the party and we had a BLAST. I just want Becky to know that I Love you and you are more than a BEST FRIEND you are my SISTER. I will cherish the memories we have.

Saddle Ridge Ranch....WOOHOO VBS

Howdy Y'all Cowboys and Cowgirls!!! VBS at Stone Station Baptist Church was the BEST I have ever been too. I think I had more fun than the kids. I was a hurdle for the 5Th & 6Th grader and I just loved those boys and girls. The kids really enjoyed coming and seeing & dancing with Henry the Horse. J.C., Carson, and Brayden had so much fun, each night they would tell me all the stuff they learned, made, and the outside and inside fun. All the kids loved recreation, Cassie Brock really did a great job coming up with the different games for them. They had barrel racing, quick draw, fly fishing, and the backpack race. I even race with the kids. Becky and Boy did a great job with music, and the kids loved the music. My favorite song was "Don't be a tumbleweed." I cant wait for next year and I hope and pray that the kids learned more about Jesus and start coming to Stone Station or just go to a church. We raised alot of money for the kids playground and I Thank God that our children ministry is growing. Oh yeah I forgot thanks Mama for getting in the dunk tank. She told everyone at the carnival if we raise $100 that she would get in there. Well it didn't take but 5 minutes and had $100. Ha! Ha! She got dunk and Carson was one of the kids who did it and daddy was one of the adults. Fun Times!!

Make a digital slideshow

Seriously, I need to do something.

My weight has been my biggest issue here lately. I guess having 3 kids the extra pounds just keep on coming. In the past, I always lost weight really good by exercising or working in a warehouse(walking for 8-10hrs) but since I stay at home with the kids and the built up stress the pounds just keep on coming. I have made a decision to get off my "fat butt" and do something. So I looked online for some ideals and come to the the wave by Firm website. So I order it and it just arrived this morning. YaY!! well I said that now but when I start it I wont be that excited. So next week starting on Monday I'm going to do the Wave. I'm going to try to get up early(TRY) and start this program. After I do it, I'm going down to Pauline to my parents house walk on the treadmill then jump in the pool to do some laps. Please y'all pray for me. I don't wont to be a skinny as a stick but I do need to lose at least 30lbs. I will update all my readers well all 5 of y'all.

Weight today: 145
Goal Weight: 115

No More Ball :(

Friday Night, the boys had their baseball banquet and it almost brought tears to my eyes. I'm going to miss those boys playing, going to miss their coaches, and going to miss all the young boys and girls on the Detroit tigers. As the coaches was talking at the banquet you can tell they care about this lil' team and I'm very thankful that the boys was on their team. Jason would have liked this team and the coaches. I'm also thankful for the ones who came out and supported the boys. They love when they have fans. I hope and pray that the same coaches will get Carson and Colby(we had fun watching all them on the same team) next year cause J.C. will be moving up to the bigger boys. So next year will be a busy year for our family. I'll probably be at the ball field every night.

Happy Memorial Day!!!!!

We had a great time at Lake Greenwood, the only thing that was missing was Jason.He loved camping and fishing with boys and daddy. He also enjoyed putting up the camper with me and mama but he would have been so proud of his boys they enjoyed fishing with papa and Jeff.

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The balm of God's Love

The Balm Of God's Love

When we lose someone we love
The loss seems too great to bear
God sends us friends to comfort us
To show that He deeply cares

But in the dark hours of the night
When there’s nobody else around
When we feel the saddest and loneliest
It’s there God’s love can be found

It’s like a soothing, healing balm
To soothe our broken hearts
The healing oil poured over us
That flows into every part

We can rest secure in God’s love
And know He’s by our side
He holds us when we feel as though
A part of us has died

We can know that God will listen
When we just want to talk
And when we feel we need to cry
We can share it with the Lord

For He is always waiting there
Ready with arms open wide
As we pour out the hurt within
He pours His love inside

Our Father above loves us so much
And will never leave us alone
He will not forsake us in our need
To face this on our own

He comforts us and strengthens us
And rubs us with His balm
And as the dawn breaks through the night
We’ll awake in His loving arms.

Thank you Jeff for sending this poem. It really touched me.

Hanging with the Monkeys

We went to the zoo yesterday with the kids from SSBC. They had a blast, while the adults were ready to go home when we got there. The day started out nice, cool, and with some rain showers, but the sun came out it was miserable. The kids wanted to go, go, go, they had so much energy and it just wore me out watching them. I'm glad they did have a good time. The best part was lunch time, the picnic tables were in the shade and it was oh so very nice. We didn't wont to leave that spot but we it was all about the kids. Just kidding. Those kids at SSBC are so precious to me and love each and everyone of them. Cant believe how the children program has increased over the past year. Its growing and loving every minute of it. The leaders of the program are wonderful and you can really tell how much they care for those kids and I'm just so glad that I was asked to help with them. God has really blessed SSBC. I pray that we continue to grow not only in the church but they can grow closer to God. Enjoy the smilebox!!

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Jason, We'll never forget you

Today is Jason's birthday May 20, 2010, he would have been 26 but its his first birthday in heaven. Its a celebration of his short but wonderful life. Not going to be sad, but so Thankful that I spent the last 6 years of his life. Jason was the most energetic person I knew, he tried to be big and bad but alot of people don't know that he had a soft and big heart for people. The years that we were together he grew into a wonderful husband and daddy. He was a child at heart and I guess that why kids just loved him. His 3 precious boys worshipped the ground he walked on. That was their role model and still want to be just like their daddy. I asked them last night what they missed about their daddy and they replied "Fighting", "Wrestling on the floor", and "Bath Time". What I remember the most about Jason was when Jason and the boys would take a bath and Jason would holler at me to get the boys out. When I would come into the bathroom Jason would be pouring cold water on them. Ha! Then I would get the towels and wrap around the boys then Jason would say "I'm next." He wanted me to get him out too. Gah I love him so much and I know he loved me and the boys. Like all relationship we fought and had some trouble times but we worked at them and got very close through those trials. We had to grow up fast, and we stuck by each other and that is why we were so close. I also remember him venting to me, and that was a everyday thing for him. Someone done made him mad and all he wanted to do was talk. That's another thing he like to do was talk. I can remember many nights we would go outside to smoke and he would just talk, talk, and talk about anyone and everything. I do miss our talks. Alot people didn't take him seriously but he was very smart and knew what he was doing. The other thing I missed about him he didn't care what you thought of him, he dressed the way he wanted, acted the way he wanted, and if you didn't like him oh well. He was himself and that's another reason why we got alone cause we didn't care to impress people or suck up to people. I do believe that Jason and I were soul mates and he was my BEST FRIEND. On May 24, it would be 7yrs. I wanted to be with him until we were old and gray and I guess that why I still don't think its fair that our time was cut short but its all according to God's Plan. Jason loved his family, until now there wasn't a day that we didn't see each other. We enjoyed each others company and another memory I have was when we were dating and it snowed really bad, he drove all the way from boiling springs to Pauline with snow and ice just to see me. I will cherish the love that we had for each other. When Jason was in the hospital and his nurse Marcia would come in the room and talk to us at night and she told me that I should have kept a journal of our life together and write a book. That doesn't mean I'm going to write a book but I will share that with our 3 boys one day. Our boys are my life right now so I don't have time for anything else. They are my main priority and I will always put them first. Jason loved his boys so much they were his life and was so proud of them. I'm glad that I can talk to J.C. and Carson about their daddy cause they remember so much about him, the way he walks, talks, and even how he use to put his t-shirt on. So we planted his favorite tree weeping willow in the front yard of my parents house. That tree is for them. So every year on his birthday they can look at that tree in memory of their daddy but not just for his birthday but everyday. I know alot of people was touch by Jason's story they tell me all the time but not only strangers but his family. I have learned so much through him and learned about myself as well. Life is so short so spend the time with your friends and family tell them how much you love and care for them. Don't take your family for granted because we are not promised tomorrow.

Wordless Wednesday: Little Becky

What I would do without my books???

I love to read. In high school, I hated it but for some reason it calms, soothe, and relaxes me. When I had alot on my mind and the life is so filled with drama and unfairness I just grab me a book and everything that was on my mind is focus on the book. Right now, I'm into supernatural stuff like vampires, witches, and all that craziness. And no, I'm not one of these weirdos that wear all black and want to become a Witch who tries to suck blood from someone. I just like to read fiction books that not true and will never be true.



My first vampire series was the twilight, and I LOVE ME SOME TWILIGHT, if someone out there that hasn't read the series needs to cause its wonderful, addicting, and the best love story ever.



My second vampire series was "the vampire diaries" that was also very addicting. I read the first books in like a week, it was awesome couldn't put the book down. Now the last book of the series wasn't that good, for some reason I had to stop reading it cause it was so boring but I will finish it sometime in the near future.


My third vampire series I am currently ready is the "sookie stackhouse series" for the ones that don't have no clue what that is theirs a show based on the book called "Trueblood". I haven't watched the series but I'm on the second book in that series. I read the first book in like 1 1/2 days, could NOT put the book down.



After I read that series, its probably gonna take awhile cause its got 7 books in that series, then I'm gonna move on to the next series that I got called the "Vampire Academy."
I wouldn't know what to do without my kids and my books to get me through this tough time. If you love books and wont some reviews on certain books go to goodreads.com, you can read the reviews and rates on books, very good information if you want to start reading a certain books. Hope everyone has enjoyed my VAMPIRE blog. Ha! Ha!

Wordless Wednesday: I ♥ my Car-Car!!!

Wordless Wednesday: Cookie Oreo Cupcake Williams Welcome Home

Wordless Wednesday: Ready for my Close Up