My minding is racing and I can't sleep just thinking about Jason. Since Jason passed I have been in my own little world, a trance, in shock, hoping this is some kind of nightmare but I cant seem to wake up. Its real He's gone. My best friend is gone. The one who is my comfort, my shield, my soul mate is gone. I will never see him in this lifetime, to grow old with, to raise the kids with. Jason, my booger, my rock, pooter, and my everything is gone. Memories are flashing through my head but the only thing I can think of is his last week alive. Helpless in the hospital, can't walk, hands and feet swollen, in ICU, not talking, and that wasn't Jason. I can't get those images out of my hand. Jason and I had so many memories of laughter and good times. I want to remember that Jason not the one I saw in hospital but I can't help it. I just hope and pray that I will get to that point. I want Jason back, I know I sound selfish but he was my heart my whole world. I lost my best friend, my heart. Its not fair, life is not fair. A young man with a family who loved life and the people that was in it is gone. Lord help to understand why things happen the way that they do and give me strength and courage to face each day. I miss you so much Jason and love you always.
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- Im stuck in a house with 3 boys. So How do you think I feel??? I am a mother with 3 boys J.C.,Carson, and Brayden. I have wonderful husband who takes care of us. I am able to stay at home and TRY to keep a clean house with is not always easy. Loving Life.
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5 comments:
Lindsey,
In time you the memory of him in the hospital will fade and the good memories will take over. When todd passed all I could see was him laying in the car and blood all over the seat. I felt like you, I prayed for God to erase that memory to leave my mind. That memory finally did fade and the good memories came flowing.
I know it is hard for you, and it just takes time. It is different for everyone.. Don't feel like you are being selfish. that is not being selfish.. God will send you better days... That's a promise.. Try not to look at the pics of Jason while he was in the hospital.. Because those pics keep it fresh in your mind.. I'm praying for you as you go through this most difficult time...I love you Lindsey...
Lindsey, I could NEVER imagine what you feel. I really enjoyed our nice long talk last night. I think its good for you. You were a GREAT wife to Jason. The love the two of you shared was one of kind. I love you. And I hope you slept well since i put you to sleep. haha
Hey sweetie. I sortof understand what you mean. Things will get better, I promise. If there is anything you need please let me know. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers.
My Sweet Lindsey:) How I wish I could make your pain go away. I wish I had the magic words that would just make it all better. I cannot imagine what you are going through.
Your memories of Jason in the hospital will fade with time. Focus on all of the happy times. Start journaling about your life with Jason. Start with writing about the first time you met, your first date. One day, when the boys are older, they will appreciate hearing in your words about their daddy.
I love you Lindsey! I will always be here for you.
Lindsey,
It's such a blessing to hear how much Jason meant to you. We, as wives, too often take for granted the solid rock our husbands are. I thank you for the example you are setting for all of us. I think you are on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I'm sure it's one you'd like to get off of any minute now. However, God is using you right now to be a testimony to others. I believe that your happy memories will overcome your sad memories, but always remember there's a lesson for you to teach others even in your darkest hour. I believe that God would want us all to learn that nobody is invincible. Death knows no age and bad things to happen to good people. He taught us this hard lesson in the book of Job. I believe we're all learning through you to have a deeper appreciation for the ones we love. Never take any of it for granted and just be thankful for every day, minute, and second you get to spend with the one you love.
We are all praying that God heals the pain you are going through right now girl. I know having those 3 boys helps you! We love you and we are here if you need us!
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